Fuck phones

Quick disclaimer: This blog has a ton of bitching. There will be real-life people hinted at but not directly mentioned in this blog post. If you at all feel offended -- please, don't be. This is just a personal venting.



I don't know why, but I have been having a really hard time being in-touch with people. I find that incredibly odd; I look around my room at my two computers, my phone and an iPad and I'm puzzled as to why such troubles would occur. I have every possible social-portal open, so what's going on here?

Allow me to give some statistics on how hard I have been phone ignored in the past two weeks:

1) Since last Wednesday, nobody has tried to call me. My recents list is filled to the brim with those little icons with the arrow going AWAY from the phone. Possibly symbolic of my feeling of losing something.

2) Almost all of those calls that I made were never answered, either going to voicemail or getting a quick, "Hey can I call you back?" *CLICK* Of course I never did get a call back.

3) Let's look at some text messages. Sifting through my messages since last Wednesday I have found that I have sent a total of 16 questions and/or cheerful messages; things that are easy to respond to. I have gotten four responses back. Most of those were from the same person.

4) Taking a break from the phone issue, just go take a look at my Facebook wall. Do you see very many people checking in? Seeing if things are going well? Good old digital pat on the back? Nope, ya' don't. It looks like it was designed by Narcissus himself as almost all the posts are by me. Just depressing.



I think a very natural reaction to reading this would be to say that its a non-issue, or that I'm being over-dramatic. If this is your natural response to this, then yes, normally I would agree with you. However, somewhere between the seventh or tenth voicemail or ignored call, I began to adopt a feeling of deeply-rooted sadness and loneliness. Why do I keep these doors open if no one ever wants to come in? I consistently feel like my hand is extended but rarely does one take it.

A popular word that is used amongst the hard-to-contact group is "busy." They are constantly applying that awful four letter word. Always they are busy with something be it work, friends, emotional upheavals or even lunch out. Truly, I can relate to that word because, hey, I'm busy, too. But guess what. I've never been that busy -- not in my whole life.

Never has my schedule been so incredibly clogged that I couldn't have a phone conversation, help a friend out, attend a quick dinner, never, never, never. People are too incredible to apply the ugliness of a schedule to them. People are, to me, the most important thing I have. Nothing, not even a job or personal project could ever change that.



I guess my final point brings me to post's title. Well, seriously, fuck phones. Fuck Facebook. Fuck Twitter. Fuck all those social networking systems. From my personal experience, all these devices designed to bring us together really only tear us apart. Here's why:

Let's imagine we are in the mid 1800's. A westward-bound boyfriend writes the love of his life a letter. This letter spans ten pages, it is thoughtful, constructed, meaningful and sincere. Now, can you see this happening? The love of his life receives the letter; we'll call her Bertha for now. Bertha pulls away the wax press that encloses the letter of the one she loves so much and she says to herself, "I'll get to that later."

Can you actually see that happening? I can't.

That's because the human experience was more valuable when it was felt more sparingly. To be accosted by someone was an honor -- you'd either be rude or have a well-versed reason to dismiss somebody. Now, being approached is no big deal. Just water under the bridge. That beautifully written ten page letter probably now manifests itself in a little red number you see in the upper-left hand side of your screen. It's not surprising. It's not shocking. It's just inglorious and trite.

We have felt each other through phones and internet so much that people have become unfazed by someone reaching out to them. This has had such a deep effect that when one sees my text message or missed call they can indeed say, "I'll get to that later."

None of those people are probably reading this; and that sucks. All the people who are, however, don't ever stop being enchanted by people. Be honored someone had enough desire and interest to contact you. Because honestly?

No one wants to talk with me right now; and I feel very, very alone.